Dawn service

Dawn Service was as inspiring as it was emotional this morning. I was taken aback at just how many people were there. I had missed the past 2 services due to illness and while there were a few at the services back then I cant ever remember it being quite so packed. The number of teens turning up on their own in its self was amazing, then to see them all just standing there soaking up the solemn  atmosphere, standing silently along side  each other and the elderly  all dressed in their suits, proudly displaying their medals is a testament to our nations pride.

As usual I teared up at the beginning of the service when they started talking about the  history of the Dawn service, then again as the soldier started playing on his bugle the last stand. That song never fails to pull at the heart strings. It is such a lonely song. I think it reminds me these days of my own Grand parents now as well. Both Poppa and Granddad fought in ww2. Both carried with them so many issues for the rest of their lives.
At those services I both miss them terribly and feel them close by, perhaps as I age it is just that I am appreciating how much I took for granted as a kid. I loved hearing their war stories-the real war stories. I never stopped to think back then  that I wouldnt get to hear them talk about their lives forever And its only lately I am starting to appreciate just how much what they went through changed who they were and can understand  some of the things they did.
Happy ANZAC Day. If your not from Australia or New Zealand, still take the time to reflect and honour those that made and still make sacrifices so that we are free to have the opinions we have. whether you agree with the  things going on today or not, just take a moment to thank the families that miss out on birthdays, christenings or even sharing a weekend breakfast so we can  do those things with our own families.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Urtiyp-G6jY&feature=fvwrel

Ode of Remembrance

Easter Sunday is almost over. Today was more about rest and relaxation for  this house hold. This is the first time since kids we didnt do the egg hunt. Just a couple of eggs and money. Thats what Easter has been reduced to. we watched  old movies, messed around on the computer, then off to the shops so the kids can go decide what they want to spend their money on.
We did go to the carnival last night for the fireworks, that was brilliant.

 20 minutes of pretty flashy lights all the appropriate oohs and aahhs then pack up the blanket and home to bed.

This year  though, Easter fell at the same time as ANZAC Day. (Australian New Zealand Army Corp). An important date to most Australians, right up there with Australia Day. Each year the  size of the old diggers and vets gets smaller, but we all take a moment to think of the ones that never made it home and thank those that did.
So today instead of talking about the joys of easter or any mishaps going on in our lives, I am just going to say Thank you.
Thank you to all of the  men and women that fought for our country, that still fight for our country. Thank you to all the Husbands, wives and children that are home making it through every day trying not to think about the what ifs. Each and everyone of these peoples sacrifices big or small allow me to be able to sit here and  enjoy my own family with freedom of oppression.


Happy ANZAC Day to all Aussies and Kiwis. 

They went with songs to the battle, they were young.

 Straight of limb, true of eyes, steady and aglow.

 They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,

 They fell with their faces to the foe.

 They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:

 Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

 At the going down of the sun and in the morning,

We will remember them.

I  have been  so lucky to be awarded twice the versatile blogger award by 2 of my top 10 favourite Bloggers http://mymummydaze.blogspot.com/ and http://potsygirl29.blogspot.com/  Both of which are entertaining and insightful as they share their amazing stories. So stealing the Phrase from dear ol Molly "do your selves a favour" and go and check them out.

In return for winning this award I am to share 7 facts about myself that you would otherwise not know.

1. I am incredibly shy. As an adult I have learnt to shield that shyness with rituals I observe religiously to get my mind in the right frame to deal with situations I find physically painful. when in a new situation I am the quiet wall flower until I find my center. At most family and friend gatherings I am found in the kitchen doing dishes, cause not many people go in to do the dirty work.

2. I am about 90% computer illiterate. Yep thats right I have mastered log on, shut down and thats about it. I still dont know if I am doing this  blog post right. It will be an adventure for us all  =oP.

3. I am super competitive with myself but not so much with other people. I dont really like team games cause I dont care if I lose to other people. I have always excelled at solitary sports and never been much of a team player.

4. I have dealt with clinical depression since I was a teen. I have been on and off anti depressants since then. Post natal depression made life unbearable sometimes. 

5. As  kid and even into my teens I had no plans to ever get married or have kids of my own. Even when I fell pregnant for the first time it was more because it was expected of me. My dad even figured I would never get married and taught me how to rebuild a car engine, change a tyre and do basic handyman  jobs, because at my 17th birthday, I had yet to even have a boyfriend but both my younger sisters had been dating for years. The day I held my baby though I took my competitive nature to a new level and  have been trying to better my parenting skills since. I may not be the most openly maternal mother but I would pull out my own heart  to keep my kids alive.

6. Spiders terrify me. At the age of 7 my oldest became in charge of saving mum from scary spiders=oP.

& lucky number 

7. while I am not religious I am deeply spiritual. I find the whole religious thing a very personal thing so rarely speak about it. I am happy to let other people have their own opinions and beliefs and would never presume to contradict their convictions because at the end of the day it gives them comfort, and at the end of the day thats what it is all about. But I do find I get frustrated when I see people that should know better vilifying another persons beliefs.

Furthermore, as part of accepting this Versatile Blogger Award I am invited to award the title to 15 other bloggers that I have newly discovered.

As a very new to this all blogger, Every one of my bloggers I follow are newly discovered, So I will go with the ones that post most often since I started following them or have made my day with their clever musings and insights. Again I hope this is all working =oP

 http://www.woogsworld.com/

 http://yarnivorous.blogspot.com/

 http://mispoetic-debbiestevens.blogspot.com/

 http://bogueliving.blogspot.com/

 http://nonsequiturrising.blogspot.com/

 http://azureofsuburbia.blogspot.com/

 http://grumbling-dragon.blogspot.com/

 http://withthepoodlesalready.blogspot.com/

 http://www.wanderlustlust.com/

 http://tracymicheleunplugged.blogspot.com/

 http://wishonawhisker.blogspot.com/

 http://thiscatholicmom.blogspot.com/

 http://bethsayswhatishouldhavesaid.blogspot.com/

and of course we cant forget

 http://mymummydaze.blogspot.com/

&

 http://potsygirl29.blogspot.com/

These are all awesome blogs in their own right. I follow a different range of blogs, and these awardees cover that range. Explore the amazing posts of these different people for their honesty, photography, craftiness, humour, inspiration, anecdotes and kitchen table wisdom. While you're there, make sure you congratulate them on their award!

Unfair

I woke this morning feeling bright cheerful and full of positive energy. I think I am going to have to stop reading my emails. I know people say lifes not fair, but really how can it  be this unfair.

My sister is going  to a funeral today. She  is soldiering on for her own son that has  leukemia.  Not a common strain yet the same week he was diagnosed so to was a little boy we will just name Angel in waiting. both went through the trials of drs having to readjust strengths of treatment. While my nephew fought on last year  with  the swine flu which almost killed him in its self Angel in waiting managed to get through a little easier. 

Both mums formed a bond in those first few weeks that could not be broken. they became each others sounding boards and cheer squads. No matter what time of the day or night they could call each other and cry when it got too much. 

No one truely understood what they were going through like each other did!

Last week during  one of their many trips to their second home my sister and nephew met up with their fellow soldiers once again chatted quietly as Angel in waiting had had a rought time the last couple of months and  had  been a guest  at PMH for some time now. saying their goodbyes and  a promise to see each other again at the next visit My sister and nephew left. An hour later they got the text to say, he had passed suddenly♥

So today my sister and nephew are going to a funeral again. Too many already little tiny boxes they  go to witness and say their final goodbyes. My sister has been asked to sit with Angel in waitings  mum at the funeral, she knows she has to give this one last bit of support to a woman who now has a giant hole in her soul.

Only 6 years ago she got her first taste of cancer as an adult. Her mother in law was diagnozed with breast cancer. After a year long battle her mother in law was declared in remission. Not even a year ago she was told she hit her 5 year mark of being cancer free. The family celebrated such a victory. A new baby into the family added to the celebration of life. Things seemed to be finally looking up for all. 

Last night, they were packing to go camping  for a few days over easter and get away from the stress that today will be,  her husband got the call from his distraught mum saying that she had been diagnozed with the rare form of cancer in the back that killed her father. So far they dont know how far it has spread they have to wait till next week to get some answers. So on top of today, dealing with the very real threat that she may lose her own angel, my sister is now left  worrying over the weekend about her mother in law and being a shoulder forher husband.

Life isnt just unfair, its down right cruel sometimes!

Today was a good day.

Today was one of the best days I have had in such a long time. I felt like myself again. Its been too long. I think I am getting my head around things easier lately. saw my MIL today, she made her standard thoughtless comment or 3 and I laughed each off but still pulled her up on it(politely). Maybe I am winning the hormonal war or at least learning new battle plans that are less challenging to all.=oP. If anything today when she said what she said all I saw was a woman that just seems to be completely clueless when it comes to understanding something that she her self is not going through and it hit me, she has no imagination! How sad that must be to live through life and not see all the possibilities  flashing through your mind.


 Its not that she means to be callous, she honestly doesnt realize  that sometimes things she says hurt because she honestly cant imagine  what it would be like, so I decided today instead of getting upset at her and then stewing on it for days and making everyones lives  harder, its an opportunity to get closer to her and still be treated with respect and compassion. It may not work, but at the end of the day laughing it off is a hell of a lot less stressful than getting angry or crying. Who knows one day  she may become a kindrid spirit♥..


Ok so I am stretching lol, but I can imagine that possibility =o) 


Ok hippy new age moment over. I will leave you all while I go explore the cosmos a bit longer.

Wasted Day

Completely wasted today and I am happy about it. The next 7 to 8 weeks are going to be flat out for hubster with work. He needed the rest and it hasnt done me any harm to be able to just potter around and get a few odd jobs done before the kids go on break and  my routine is shot to hell. Easter is almost here with ANZAC day entwined into the same weekend. That means for many Aussies they have a 5 day break this year. Hubster has 3 and still has to pop in for a couple of hours on one of his days off. we arent doing much so theres no worries about  messing up plans anyways.

These next few weeks is going to give us a taste of what our life is going to be like for the next 9-12 months. As the year goes on hubster will have so much more to organize with the change of location for his work.   machinery worth millions and the size of mac trucks will have to be moved to their new home a little over 100 km away. while still keeping productivity loss to a minimum. Staff will be juggled between 2 locations for  a few months. Hubster is going to be taking on more and more work related responsibilities, so I have already resigned myself to the fact that I will packing the house up and sorting out the logistics of changing schools, homes myself while keeping the family running like clockwork while we will most likely be living separately during the week for a few weeks or so. 

Moving date is yet to be decided, but we have been told anywhere between November and February. Joy we will probably spend Christmas day with the house completely boxed up. I just hope I dont end up packing up pressies bought early in my bid to get value for money with sales a few months earlier.

It wont be all bad though. At least I wont have to  waste my time with Christmas trees and decorating. I will be so focused on moving I wont have time to  get all stressed about the family politics on who I have to spend the most time with on the day. I already have a 0 care factor with Christmas this year when it comes to  keeping  both sides of the family happy. Truth be known I am already looking forward to next years Christmas. Our first Xmas in our brand new home. I have already made it very clear we will not be travelling up to see any family on the Christmas break that first year. If anyone wants to come down that will be wonderful. But that first Christmas will be sacred for me.

Usually already I am thinking how I can juggle christmas day so both side of the family dont get narky at us but still be home early enough for us to be able to enjoy our kids. with hubster usually only having the one day off after working weeks doing 70+hrs a week, I didnt think it was too much to ask that we get to spend that one day enjoying each other and relaxing… How wrong could I be lol.

This year has been great everytime it crosses my mind I just think really Old Girl you really want to add pressure to your self??? We will be where we are told to be when we get there and if anyone has a problem with it then they can come pack a box for me =oP

today has been about relaxing, recharging and rejuvenating(not to mention farming lol) Let the fun and games of the next week begin♥

Aging Ungracefully

I turn that nasty number at the end of the year… you know the one, it starts with a 4 & ends with an O MG! and it seems like my body is falling apart in protest. I hear people say you should age gracefully. Your kidding right, Me be graceful! My nickname as a kid was rightly calamity jane. I dont see why old age should change that.

It all started gradually, aches here and there. I found myself groaning when I got up out of a chair one day, how sad is that. After my hysterectomy after being  diagnosed with OC I thought on at least I have one less thing  to deal with,  no more ladies time. Yey, whoo hoo. I almost had a party about that one =o) But no in snuck early menopause the week later. so on top of dealing with post op issues I now turn into  my own private radiator, complete with thermostat problems. 

Went to the doc after  putting up with bad headaches and really sore neck and now they are saying  wear and tear on the joints, bones are slightly smaller than they should be so have to work harder to hold up my head(and no my head is NOT too big as hubby helpfully suggested=oP.) 

So now I have a little hormone implant the size of a grain of rice in my belly to help keep the thermostat working, take a pill to relax the neck, A pill to reduce the brain banging & yet another pill to stop the kaleidescope rainbows happening in my eyes. Soon I will rattle when I walk thats if I dont need my grannies walking frame before I hit 4 OMG!

Till then I’m going to go put on my big girl support panties and go deal with what ever comes my way in my own unique style. It may not be pretty, but at least I will have some laughs along the way.