karmic justice

Living with a teen I feel is karmic justice for  putting our own parents through the wringer as we negotiated the hormonal roller coaster called puberty. Of course we thought we were completely justified for our outbursts... Our parents just didn't understand what we were going through after all! Its not like they understand how tragic our love life was, nor did they get that our lives would be truly ruined if we had to wear those trainers to school and of course my favourite, I was going to die from embarrassment if my dad speaks again in public!

Now I have 2 teens of my own, granted they are of the male species so technically I have it easier. While so far the youngest is still in the infancy age of demon in training the eldest is in full swing of his apprenticeship and I think about to graduate with flying colours with extra top marks for having such a dramatic life. I have come to realize 1 major truth with parenting. This parenting teens is hard bloomin work!

Not only do we have to research and keep up to date with the how to  parenting 101, we strive to be better than our own floundering parents were, or eat our own words (when I am a mum I will never do that with MY kids)!  We have to have the memory of an elephant and  pull up  incidences of our own youthful capers. Try to unravel the memory all twisted with time and look at it from a parents perspective. We have to think ahead and see the next problem before it happens(not unlike the toddler years) and fix it or  move the dangerous object away before it becomes an issue. To do this we use our own experiences to spot the hazard, which is where I am having trouble right now.

I never dated while in school, not because my folks wouldnt let me,  more because I was so incredibly shy and well the male of the species just annoyed me till was about 17(I was a late bloomer). I grew up with lots of boy cousins who took great pleasure in teasing me or being the butt of their practical jokes, but as I got older they were also very protective of me so any boy that did look my way was quickly "encouraged" to find a new interest. Growing up I seemed to  get along better with boys than girls. I didnt get the whole double meanings. I didn't feel I was pretty enough to hang out with the girls most of the time. Even  my girl cousins I felt out of my depth, they were so pretty, smart and seemed to be so worldly. In short I was the loner.

This is probably why I am floundering a bit with my kids with the whole girlfriend thing. You would think being a female I would have the inside track, but no when it comes to  the whole gf/ bf thing I am sadly lacking in  experience and wisdom.

My oldest, The Lad, is 15 and started dating a year ago. Who knew it would be as nerve racking for us the parents  as it is for the  kids? Its a constant worry even for the parent of a male. Putting aside the whole making sure they understand how important protected sex side of things, we have emotions to deal with. All happy and  easy to get along with when things are going smoothly. When the girl decides its break time we get the moody monster of mood swings. Even when they both decide  they  are better off as friends for now you get Jeckle and Hyde moving in for a time.

We cant protect their hearts forever and I dont want to ever become the  obsessively protective mother from hell. I encourage my kids to talk to me, no mater how embarrassing it may be to either of us. But I am finding  its not as easy to give advice when own teen experiences in this field are so sadly lacking. My first real boyfriend at 17, I married him at the tender age of 21. Its not like I have life experiences  in that arena to take from. I am winging it by the seat of my pants. Doing my best to think practically and use some common sense. I know I have and will make more mistakes, hopefully not enough to have my child die of embarrassment though♥