Texting Codes for us more mature people=oP

ATD--- -at the doctor.

BFF -----best friend fell.

BTW ----bring the wheelchair.

BYOT ---bring your own teeth.

FWIW --forgot where I was.

GGPBL- -gotta go, pacemaker battery low.

GHA -----got heartburn again.

IMHO ----is my hearing aid on?

LMDO ----laughing my dentures out.

OMMR ---on my massage recliner.

TTYL -----talk to you louder!

ROFLACGU --rolling on floor laughing and can't get up.

Been MIA lately

So I have been a bit MIA lately. I have been in a bit of a rut. This is always dangerous cause it  leaves me thinking.

Been thinking about things a lot lately. Mostly I have been thinking about people putting other people down  in a bid to make themselves feel better about themselves. I dont get it. How can can making someone feel small possibly make you feel better about yourself?

I never got it in high school, I never got it when the whole school yard mums started their clicky little groups and I sure as hell dont get it on the social sites. Its like as adults we log in and automatically regress back to our high school years. For those that were bullied for being different in any way shape or form, one or the other happens.

Either they go in social ville with the smile on their faces they learnt to use as armour. They will continue to care and empathise with others. They will celebrate with others their joys and accomplishments. Or the opposite happens. They became the bully themselves. Constantly putting down anyone that has an opinion. Belittling others every opportunity they can or laughing at someones woes. All this in a bid to become popular and therefore validating who they are and have become.

Then you have the ones that never learnt that being a bully at high school was not ok behaviour and continue to be mean, belittle and harass. As they have aged they have become more and more bitter and twisted as they  lose any friends they have made along the way. Never accepting that it is Their OWN behaviour that has driven people away. The social networks have just given them more modes of continuing their bullying ways. Made them more aggressive as they taunt from the safety of their homes or offices.

I wonder why we do this to ourselves on a daily  basis. Allow people we dont know, will probably never know to be a part of our lives. share in our happiness and low times. Why do we continue to give these people the power to continually have us feel like we are worthless. Whats worse is when its someone we do know and all of a sudden we are being treated abysmally and we STILL continue to share with them our daily life/thoughts and actions.

More and more lately I am becoming jaded with the whole networking thing. I keep telling myself for every bully I encounter there have been so many more wonderful souls that I never would of had the pleasure of meeting any other way. For every  person that is more interested in their friends or followers count there are plenty more that are kindred spirits.

I have 2 friends in particular,  one lives on the opposite side of the  world the other the other side of the country. Both I have known and spoken with for over a decade. Both i will probably never meet in person. And both mean the world to me when I was first diagnozed with cancer one of the first people that called me up and  offered their support was one of these friends. She has talked with me listened to me when times were hard. In turn I have  listened to her while she worked through her marriage breakdown and now health issues. Both I never would of have the opportunity to know if it werent for chance meetings on a social site.

So theres the bitter pill, do I weed through and make the decision quicker to not feel small.  Listen to hubby when he says I am too nice to people for my own good and use the block option. I know that sound like a simple decision to  so many out there. I am learning to let my bitch out occasionally but I still find blocking people a hard thing to do. Each time I have, I beat myself up for days. Telling my self I am too judgmental, too sensitive. The funny thing is, is once I have made the decision I always feel so much better for it. So why do I beat myself up  over it? 

♥

sisters

We fight, we argue, have pulled each others hair, 
Scratched at each others eyes. 
We dont always see the world the same way, 
Have different goals in life and walk different paths now.
But my sisters are my sisters.


We have each others back when knives are drawn by others 
And pull each other up when we fall. 
I love my sisters inspite of our differences, 
And probably because of them.
Because my sisters are my sisters.


We have times when we dont like each other,
We have moments when we are each others best friend.
I rarely appreciate them enough, 
Or tell them that I love them enough.
So I say now I love my sisters for being my sisters

Rediscovering that Spark

Hard to believe it really, I mean in this day and age it really is becoming a bit of a rarity. I never would of believed I would be one of the very lucky ones. A decade ago I think I would of laughed if you said we would be here today, but today Oscar and I celebrated 18 years of marriage.

Together for 21 years means we have been together for over half of our lives. Pretty scary when you think about it that way. So many people were warning us to not rush into marriage, I had after all never had another boyfriend. My response to everyone of them was if it ain't broke why would I try to fix it! Besides it took me 17 years to find A guy I liked enough to go out with let alone fall in love with, it was a safe bet I was extremely picky and could possibly go another 17 years before I found someone else I liked enough. While many said it wont last. We ignored the comments cocooned in our love for each other we had blinkers on to anything negative.

We started out pretty much the same as any couple really. Inseparable, we spent every spare moment of our budding relationship in each others pocket. We wed, bought the standard first home moved away  from family and started our own.

Before we knew what had happened to our budding romance, we had evolved into  harried first time parents with a seriously ill child and over the next decade went through the motions of married life. Life became a new kind of normal with regular time apart due to hospital stays with the lad and weekend working, Oscar busy with his job, keeping the house  running often left us going for a few days only speaking to each other by phone or leaving messages to each other on the kitchen bench. We found we needed to spend time apart even holidaying occasionally separately to cope with the stresses and help us to remember what we were doing it all for.

More recently though with the kids hitting teens, my finding work at more married/family friendly hours, not to mention almost 4 years surgery free for the lad, we have had a chance to rediscover each other. We have remembered what it was that drew us to each other in the first place. Discovered new sides to each other that have endeared us to each other more.

When I had my surgery 2 years ago, I think it really bought it home to both of us how this was not a dress rehearsal. With Oscar having to care for me post op and take on a more active role in raising the kids, it gave us the chance to slow down and reconnect. Not many people can say that cancer has a positive side to it in any way, but for us it was in some ways. Not only did we slow down, but we stopped working against each other. We stopped worrying about what other people thought of how we lived our lives and in many ways that in its self helped our marriage.

We have now got to that place again where neither of us is wanting to holiday without the other to have that break from the strains. Instead of going away to deal with stress, we are turning to each other for strength to make it through any problems.

This entire weekend has been wonderful. Saturday after a lazy start to the day  only doing the essential jobs needed to be done, the 2 of us treated our selves to the gold lounge to watch Thor. The kids stayed home and did their thing and we bought chicken treat home to them. Saturday night we sat out the back and had a couple of drinks and laughed and talked. Oscar had declined an offer to go deep sea fishing, which if you knew him would understand how much he loves/eats/sleeps/breaths the ocean in any form you would understand what a huge thing it was for him to say no. I told him to go and spend the day with his mate, if you knew how much over the years I had resented the ocean and mates you would understand how big that was too.

So today was our anniversary and we spent it separately. I awoke to find a bouquet of flowers and the most beautiful card waiting for me (he had bought it when he was supposedly out buying bait). The kids and I went and visited with my sister then the kids stayed for a sleep over. This afternoon was spent just the 2 of us unraveling one of his reels, talking about things that dont really matter, laughing at something silly that happened today. Then it was off for Chinese dinner, before an early night for Oscar before he starts a month with a doubled work load.

Quite possibly this has been one of the top 10 weekends ever. We are coming full circle and becoming friends again and in doing so rekindling  that spark that began all those years ago. While none of us ever know whats around the corner, tonight though I am so pleased our mutual stubbornness  kept us slogging on through those difficult years. Grateful we never fully lost that spark. Mostly though i am Just happy I am still in love with my childhood sweetheart 21 years later.

I dont for one moment think it was just meant to be, Marriage is bloody hard work, sometimes people arent so lucky to get through as unscathed and to be honest if either of us werent as stubborn as we are, I very much doubt we would be here today. I am just really grateful we are.